2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”
I was barely twenty when I met a handsome marine. We were crazy about each other. I never knew I could feel that strongly for someone. He was tall, wise, handsome, protective. Only one thing lacked… he was not a christian.
This was the most important thing, and I treated it as if it was the least. This should have been a deal breaker. I should have invited him to church instead of giving him my phone number.
We were in a relationship for 3.5 years. I loved him, but we fought a lot. There are so many clashes when you are with someone who is not a christian. We wanted to live together and have sex, but couldn’t because I believed it was not right until marriage. He wanted to let our future children choose if they wanted to be in church for themselves, I couldn’t risk that. If I had chosen as a kid whether or not to go to church, I would have slept in on Sunday mornings. He supported my christianity, but I would have been alone in church every Sunday for the rest of my life. I still chose to stay with him because he made me so “happy”.
It took him moving across the country on a whim to break us up. I was hurt and mad when he left but thank God it happened. I realized how much I needed my savior and not this unsaved man. I might have never broken up with him on my own.
After he left, for three months I put on a smile at work, but on the inside there was pain. When I got home, I would lay in bed until work the next day. For three months I barely ate, or did anything but sleep or lay in my bed. I barely communicated with friends or family.
90 days of depression, and inner battle, my dad talked to me. He gave me some verses to read and told me I had mourned, and needed to move on. I took a deep breath and opened my dusty bible and prayed, and cried. For months…
I’m not perfect but I am growing as a christian. I realize now that if we had married, we would have been miserable and God would not have blessed that marriage. God commands his children to not be yolked with non-believers. That’s the main reason to not be with a non-christian, simply because we are told not to. Our children would have been confused, possibly having to choose sides, and they wouldn’t have had a father to lead their spiritual lives. My personal growth as a christian would have been hindered and I would have been alone.
To the world, love is a feeling. It is an emotion that can come and go whenever it pleases. With Christ, love is better than that. Love is not a feeling, it is commitment. It is forever. It does not leave us or forsake us.
It’s been almost 3 years since he moved away and my heart still breaks. I still read my bible, still pray, and still cry. I gave him my whole heart. It breaks all over again realizing I gave it away to someone who wasn’t my husband. I let my first love be someone who was not even a christian. I should not have been with him in the first place. If I had listened to God and waited, I might have a husband and children by now. My heart longs for that, and it’s never came close.
I understand God has a plan for his children, he will use my past sins for good somehow. Jeremiah 29:11 ESV “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare, and not for evil, to give you hope and a future.” Romans 8:28 ESV “ And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Lord, heal my broken heart. When the time is right if you would bless me with a husband may I have a heart full of love to give him, and may I never give anything else away that belongs to my future husband. If it is your will for me to not marry, may you heal my broken heart and may I live for you.
Sin may seem gratifying for a moment, but it leaves you empty. Don’t give your heart away too soon.